


The House Won't Fall

by wirewrappedlily



Series: Each and Every Time [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Hopeless romanticism, Immortal Husbands, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus's POV, Past Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23865583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wirewrappedlily/pseuds/wirewrappedlily
Summary: Magnus thumped his head against one of his bookcases, sighing, "Am I doing...that stupid thing that I always do?""You have called me to talk to me about your relationship, Magnus. What you usually do is dive into your relationship like you're the one that's dying and it's the only thing that will save you, and I only find out that one of them has surfaced in your life by a) walking in on something I'd rather not see; or b) walking in on you trying to drown yourself in a puddle of alcohol."Magnus sighed again, more dramatically, and Catarina laughed at him mercilessly. "You walked in on something you didn't want to see at most...three times.""Mmm-hm."
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Catarina Loss, Magnus Bane & Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane & Maryse Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Each and Every Time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718866
Comments: 14
Kudos: 196





	The House Won't Fall

If Magnus Bane were prone to hysterical outbursts, catching sight of the tall, handsome archer that had saved his life would have triggered one. 

It had been...fuck, it had twenty-two years since the last time Magnus had seen that face, just long enough for this reincarnation to grow up into a mirror image of the man that had died, once again, in Magnus's arms. 

There wasn't time for proper introductions to be made; and Magnus recognized his own feelings enough to know that if he did not outright _run_ from meeting the archer, he would probably end up falling back in love with the man who kept laying his life down for Magnus Bane. 

It was impossible for even Magnus to be able to tell how many lifetimes this man had lived; how many lifetimes that this man had found Magnus, and come to give up his life to protect Magnus. 

Magnus didn't remember the first time it'd happened. Had actively tried to forget most of them for years, if he was being honest. 

The one that came to mind was the one that caused Magnus the most pain in the worst way. 

He hadn't seen any version of this man for almost thirty years--and had been crossing the street in Delhi, following a small boy who had come to trust him enough to lead him towards a group of warlock children who were trying to hide in the middle of a warzone. And then he was being pushed off his feet...and the sound of the gunshot tore streets apart with panic; the man that had gotten him out of the way, that was standing where he had stood, now spattered with blood from the fist-sized hole punched through his chest. 

It was another incarnation. Another version of that damnably beautiful man--and he was dying, in having saved Magnus's life. 

It wasn't the only life in which Magnus had not gotten to know the man before the man had sacrificed himself to save Magnus. It hadn't been the first, and Magnus had the terrible suspicion, always, that it would not prove to be the last. 

In the lives in which he did get to know the man, he always seemed to fall in love with him. He was the same man; the same soul, somehow, Magnus knew. But he wasn't always the same _person_. When Magnus got drunk enough--usually on tequila, because it made him giggly and intellectual--Magnus could almost get himself to consider the argument of nature versus nurture when taken into account the one soul he'd seen come back, over and over and over. This mortal was always very serious. Always a force of protection and righteousness. Some of the details would change, but that core of him remained. 

It was another episode of the archer saving him before Magnus was given a name to put to this incarnation of the face. Alec. And that smile made his heart threaten to burst from his chest, because he had missed it so badly, and wanted so badly for it to stay. 

Magnus had promised himself that he wouldn't allow a romantic relationship with the man again, and had stuck to that promise for just short of a century. They had been friends, when Magnus found he couldn't stay away from him--had found that it truly didn't matter when Magnus tried to stay away from him, because the world seemed to want to put this breakable mortal in Magnus's path to take every threat of death made on Magnus off his shoulders. If Magnus were a fool enough to entertain such thoughts, he'd almost have wondered if he'd been given a guardian angel. 

In Magnus's less-heartbroken moments, he had to wonder how it was, that in every incarnation, Alec seemed to love him. Wondered if, perhaps, it was worth being heartbroken, to have that love for as long as it would last. Wondered if there was something he was missing, that this soul kept coming back to him--a thing that he'd only ever heard rumour of, and never seen any hint of proof besides Alec and all the lives he'd been before. 

~

The amount of power that Magnus Bane had as a son of a Greater Demon was vast, but Magnus had been almost desperate, since meeting Alexander Lightwood, to exhaust himself enough that the nightmares of all the times Magnus had loved him and lost him before would be held at bay. 

It was only par for the course, then, that Simon, Clary, and Jace came crashing into his loft with Luke Garroway dying between them, and the powers that he'd already run to the ground were called into a great amount of need. 

There was no real way to know if calling for Alexander would actually prove fruitful: Magnus was very well aware that energy transfers only worked when the person being pulled from was open to the transfer--and there was no guarantee that Alec would be any more open to it than Clary or Jace. He just had to push himself as hard as he could, and hope it was enough to keep Luke from dying on his favourite couch. 

"Fray?" Alec's voice was the most welcome sound Magnus had ever heard, and Magnus was too busy hoping that if he did lose his heart to this incarnation, that he wouldn't lose his mind when the cycle repeats again to notice Clary filling in what few details she could. 

Alexander's very presence was, somehow, enough to give Magnus the sense that he was being protected. His hands had always been so large and warm, and when one slipped as easily into Magnus's as if Alec knew that that was where his hand belonged already, Magnus had to force himself not to cry. Magnus tentatively pulled from the connection his magic created, and then something changed in the very core of it. 

Maybe this time Alec will finally be the death of him, Magnus mused, because Alec wasn't just accepting of the draw of his strength, he was actively pushing the connection stronger and more stable, not just open but giving outright. Gasping, Magnus looked at him in complete surprise, and the lighting was poor, but he would swear he could see a blush staining Alec's cheeks. 

"Take what you need. I'm right here." Alec whispered, and Magnus wanted to fall into his arms; wanted to be someone who would allow themselves to swoon. 

Once Luke was ensconced in Magnus's spare bedroom, and Alec had ordered Clary and Jace out of his loft, Magnus found himself wishing that they could skip to the part where they know each other and love each other. Alexander, in every incarnation, has never had any inkling of all that had come before. The first time it had happened--the first time Magnus had caught a glimpse of the lover he'd lost only fifteen years before, a teenager still and unchanged from when Magnus had watched him die, Magnus had thought that he'd been Turned, or that the death he had witnessed had somehow been some kind of mistake. 

He'd run up to the young man. And it wasn't just the look of confusion; the lack of recognition that had made Magnus realize that he was looking at a new man. It was the lack of the scar that he'd gotten the first time they had met. 

Alexander snapped him from his reminiscence not a moment too soon, the deposit of cleaning supplies next to Magnus's couch breaking him out of the unwelcome reverie. 

"You know, I do have magic for that." Magnus murmured, half in hope that Alexander would leave him be and break the cycle and escape whatever curse that meant that Magnus would love him and then be the thing to kill him. 

"You've used more than enough tonight." Alexander was scrubbing hard at the fabric, and Magnus couldn't help but wonder why he never seemed to meet his gaze for very long. 

"Thank you, for coming to help." Magnus could not keep the slight sting of surprise out of his voice, and he tightened his own hand around his glass to keep it from shaking. 

Alec licked his lips, a habit that Magnus had seen in every incarnation, and had never managed not to be affected by. There was an earnestness to this incarnation, though; something that he carried that weighed more than a man so young should ever have had to bear. "Thank you for trying to save him in the first place. What do we owe you?" 

"Call it a repayment of an old debt." Magnus can't help but scoff, the image of Alec's beautiful face spattered with his blood dancing behind his eyes. If any of the culprits tonight but Alec had asked--if Magnus could put aside or ignore the implication that Alec would be taking part in helping to pay him back, then he would have given an honest price. But for Alexander, for all the lives that Alec had lived through and all the deaths that he had given, there would never be anything Magnus could demand of him in payment. 

Magnus looked at him properly, and Alec didn't quite manage to stifle a flinch, his breath shaking slightly. Magnus had to wonder what was going on behind those lovely hazel eyes; why Alec seemed shaken by the implication that Magnus had owed one of them a debt, even if he couldn't know that it was _him_ that Magnus owed his entire life to. 

Gathering himself, Magnus summoned a second glass, knowing in his heart of hearts that Alec would more than likely absolutely hate the drink he'd chosen, but unable to stop himself from, at least a little, reliving the memory of the first time Magnus had given this particular drink to any incarnation. "Take a drink break, Alexander. You've earned it." 

"I don't want to give the blood a chance to set." The heavy flutter of Alec's dark lashes as he looked at the glass was the definition of unfair, in Magnus's estimation, and Magnus resigned himself to his fate, resigned himself to falling in love with the Nephilim knelt before his couch, because he was too tired to try to fight it any further. 

"You gave quite a bit of yourself to help me tonight. I'd have rather seen your parabatai scrubbing at that couch than seeing you spend more energy doing it yourself. And it's not uncommon for me to need to reupholster things, if it comes to that." Magnus dropped his voice slightly, wiggling the glass in Alexander's direction, and allowed himself only the smallest of smirks when Alec sighed and took it, standing up. 

The night was familiar and not, all at once. Magnus's usual fix for a tough night--of booze, a medium-rare steak, and a bath--was only truncated in that he skipped the bath in order to sit with Alec, telling him wild stories of the parts of his past that no incarnation of Alec had been there to see. 

When light cut through the apartment, and Magnus woke to the soft snores that he had hoped never to hear again, Magnus forced down the grief from his throat, willed his memories into a mental box, and went to make coffee. 

~

Magnus had seen some incarnations of Alec married before, though usually not. Usually, Alec was too entrenched in a duty that did not allow him the time to even think about it; not put into a wedding because it was considered his duty. 

As he'd gotten ready for the world that morning, Magnus had been staring at the picture of one of the incarnations. 

Magnus had many pictures, and portraits, and it had been something of a miracle that Clary had not noticed the one in his apothecary. But the picture he'd stared at that morning was his favourite. The technology for photography had been still yet to go "mainstream", such as that had been, and it had taken _forever_ to sit for a photograph. When Magnus had asked it of that incarnation, he hadn't expected the answer to ever be yes. And then when the photograph had finally been given him, he'd nearly wept for joy that even sitting there for as long as he'd had to, there was that tiny smile that he'd loved, that he seemed to be the only one to coax onto those full lips. 

Alec washed up on the shores of Magnus's loft only a hour after Magnus had had to leave him in the aftermath of the wedding Magnus had interrupted, and Magnus had to sternly remind himself that there was no way to skip to the part where they know each other, because Alec couldn't remember knowing him before. Instead, Magnus conjured comfortable clothes for Alec to change into, and settled for something in-between the familiarity he had and the newness Alec was diving into. 

It was only when it seemed like honestly too much time had passed since Magnus had bade Alec to go change that Magnus when to knock softly on his bedroom door, "Alexander?" 

"Yeah, sorry. Just...how disappointed in me would you be if I threw this thing out?" Alec's voice was warm and a little embarrassed as Magnus pushed the door open, biting his lip as he gestured to the discarded pieces of the tuxedo on the end of Magnus's bed. 

For all the time he had just spent standing with Alec through his parent's ire, Magnus wished desperately not to actually believe that Alec would expect disappointment from him for doing something that he wanted to do. "I don't see any way in which I'd be disappointed in you, Alexander. But I will say, you do look good in a tux." 

Alec slipped their hands together and huffed a small laugh at Magnus's wink, drawing close enough that Magnus could feel the gravitational drag Alec seemed to have on him. When Alec's lips brushed his cheek, Magnus wiggled the fingers of his free hand, vanishing all the pieces of the suit, save the bowtie; something to remember this night by, because it was a night Magnus would want to remember, even when Alec would prove to be a man he would never forget. 

"Everything else okay?" Magnus tilted his head slightly, looking up at Alec. Dressed in loose sweatpants and a fitted henley, Alec looked almost as if he should be at ease, but there was a tension riding his shoulders that Magnus didn't recognize how to fix without context to what could be causing it.

"Yeah," Alec breathed, and then steeled himself slightly, licking his lips and flicking his gaze from Magnus's necklace to his eyes, "I just...I've never done this before. I never wanted to feel like I--like I'm messed up, for growing up at the Institute. You're on the receiving end of the mother of all first-date nerves." 

Magnus felt as if the warmth he had for Alec would turn him into a second Sun, and he cupped his hand over Alec's cheek, "Thank you for forewarning me about the jitters. But you're not messed up, Alexander. Not at all." 

Alec's cheek flushed lightly beneath Magnus's palm, and it was impossible to tell who initiated the next soft brush of their lips, but it chased away the last of the tension in Alec's shoulders. They walked hand-in-hand towards the living room and the feast of Indian food Magnus had summoned for them, the opening title card that would lead into the 1999 version of _The Mummy_ paused already on the screen. 

It was almost too good to be true: Alec didn't have dating experience, but he managed instinctually to settle them together on the couch, close enough to be intimate, but with the space to be able to eat comfortably. 

Magnus might have known that Alec was too polite to be the kind of person who'd talk through a movie, but when Alec nearly choked on a sip of tea at Brendan Fraser dumping Rachel Weisz unceremoniously off the side of the boat, Magnus took that to mean he'd chosen the right movie. 

"This one is one of my favourites," Magnus whispered, taking a swig of his own iced black tea. 

Alec's smile was wide and bright unlike any Magnus had gotten to see on Alexander Lightwood before, and when Magnus slid tight to his side with a smile of his own, Alec tightened an arm around his shoulders. 

~

It was dangerous, this line Magnus was walking between losing himself completely to how much he loved Alec, and the lessons he'd sworn off falling in love with the incarnations of Alec to force himself to learn. 

Alec surprised him constantly--and not simply because he so often worked against the culture he'd been raised in. Alec seemed to be able to read him like a book, fitting with him in a way that Magnus found he couldn't protect himself against. 

The biggest lesson Magnus had been forcing himself to learn was not to lose the rest of his life in striving to spend as much time with Alexander as he possibly could. If the cycle was as inevitable as it seemed to be, there was nothing he could do about it, and letting the rest of his life suffer as a result was a fool's errand. 

He called Catarina, after their fight about moving in together. She was busy; being a nurse and a single mother did that to you, Magnus suspected, but she was the only person besides Ragnor who had known about the incarnations. 

She'd met only two, besides Alec; Magnus's mindlessness for falling into whatever time he could get with the incarnations straining his friendships in a way he had known, even in the middle of it, wasn't healthy. But Catarina and Ragnor had opted not to throw that in his face; and the buffoonery of Magnus Bane when it came to the incarnations went an unspoken thing for all of them. 

_"Well, your boyfriend would be the back-up babysitter I would normally turn to for emergencies like this, Magnus, but if you're getting into fights--"_

"I...It's not really a fight. Not like--not like you mean. I just...don't want to keep going through this, Catarina. The _thought_ of what's coming..." 

_"You don't know what's coming, Magnus. And you don't know why what's happened has happened, either. None of us do. Ragnor and I_ looked _, Hell knows. But the point is, Magnus: he keeps coming back for you. So stop running away from him."_

Magnus thumped his head against one of his bookcases, sighing, "Am I doing...that stupid thing that I always do?" 

_"You have called me to talk to me about your relationship, Magnus. What you usually do is dive into your relationship like you're the one that's dying and it's the only thing that will save you, and I only find out that one of them has surfaced in your life by a) walking in on something I'd rather not see; or b) walking in on you trying to drown yourself in a puddle of alcohol."_

Magnus sighed again, more dramatically, and Catarina laughed at him mercilessly. "You walked in on something you didn't want to see at most...three times." 

_"Mmm-hm."_ Catarina hummed absently. 

"Oh, fine. Get back to work, I'll call you if I need wine and whining."

Catarina snorted, and hung up on him. 

Magnus turned to the potion he had bubbling away for a client; the blank space on his apothecary wall where his favourite portrait of any of the incarnations had hung catching his eye as he did. 

Magnus had refrained from commissioning any portraits or pictures that were risqué. It wasn't so much that he didn't want them, as that he didn't want anyone else to ever stumble across them--a bit of possessiveness that Magnus indulged himself in. There were always so few ways Magnus could allow himself to be possessive of any of the incarnations, with the time limit Magnus couldn't define, but knew was hanging over them. 

Trying to picture what it would look like with Alec moved into his space--properly, fully, and largely without the rumours or stigma that would have come with an act like that only a handful of decades before--Magnus could see the logic behind Alec's request, because it truly wouldn't be much of a change to how they already were. 

Alec had his own side of the bed; Alec had a preferred coffee cup in his cupboard; there was a space for Alec's weapons when he came home--

And Magnus stopped himself short with the realization that he had been thinking of his loft as Alec's home for longer than he thought it prudent to admit...maybe since Alec had shown up on his doorstep, still in most of his tuxedo. 

Alec was always very careful to take up as little space as possible in the loft, but Magnus knew, now, that that was how much space he allowed himself even at the Institute. He couldn't leave behind mess or disorder for the simple and devastating reason that he had suffered in the past for daring to. Magnus and he had talked about it, in something of an abstract; but by now, the habit was so deeply engrained that Magnus knew it would be harder to break than it would be for Magnus to learn to live with. The tease between them had been that if Alec left for work before Magnus woke, there were days Magnus seriously wondered if Alec hadn't been a dream.

With all the incarnations before, the whirlwind of it all had taken precedence over things like going on a date to Tokyo or having a quiet night in. They had, largely, lived with him the same way Alec was now--and the consideration of whether it was a line Magnus was subconsciously drawing for himself, not to properly allow Alec in, made him wish Catarina was available for the wine, even if he wasn't ready to admit what he would be whining about. 

Magnus's phone beeped, and his affection for Isabelle Lightwood flooded him as he opened a picture she had snuck of her brother, still in Magnus's shirt and looking quietly happy about it. **[1:46 PM] He adores you, Magnus. And you may yet get him in actually good clothes.**

~

The information that Alexander broke up with him to fulfill a deal with his father was...Magnus couldn't even define what he felt. Couldn't tell if he felt anything, when it came down to it. 

When Asmodeus had taken his magic, there had been a part of Magnus--a tiny, foolish part--that had hoped that with his life and his magic out of the mix, maybe Alexander wouldn't die to save him this time. That maybe, like Alec seemed to want, they could grow old together. 

But the episode with Iris had just hit home the difference for him; how much more vulnerable he was now, and how much more risk that posed to Alec. Magnus missed his magic like a limb...but watching Alexander walk out the door every day, without any hope of offering his help should it be needed, was worse. 

When Alexander had broken his heart in Maryse's bookshop, Magnus had wondered, in a removed way, whether this was what was meant to happen; that he wasn't the man that all those incarnations had come back for anymore, and so he didn't get to keep what little happiness he had left. But the memory, however alcohol-blurred it was, of the words he'd thrown in Alec's face about his happiness, had been enough to make him want to stop his mind completely; because it was, he thought, his fault for losing what little he'd had left. 

The numbness buzzed under his skin like electricity as he walked back into his loft to find Asmodeus making himself a drink, and even though he knew that anger was a facet of the things that he wasn't feeling, he could not find it within himself over the roar of everything else. 

There was nothing left in Magnus but to get Alexander back, and fix this mess that they had fallen into. 

In all his years; in all the relationships with all of the incarnations that had come before, he knew he'd never quite loved any of them as he loved Alec. There was something that was somehow _more_ than any of the others. Somehow, Alexander was the best parts of all of them, combined. And it no longer mattered to Magnus, that there was a deadline for when he would lose Alexander. He could not for the life of him care. Because holding back because of the pain had not kept him safe; and losing himself to the love was not something Alec had allowed him to do. He had given up his life, piece by piece, more completely than he ever had before with any other incarnation. And Alec had sacrificed his own heart to be damned sure that Magnus would get his life back. 

Getting rid of Asmodeus was hardly difficult; and Magnus stood alone in his loft for only a moment, searching within himself for what he felt about this new sacrifice that Alexander was willing to make. 

All he could find was the drive to make it right. 

~

Going on a date with his husband wasn't odd, really. Though usually Alexander let him plan the evening, demurring with the twin excuses that Magnus had better taste, and that if it were up to him, their dates would largely be spent just spending time together. 

Magnus only realized that he knew the diner Alec had wanted to go to when he got about a block away; the coolness of the autumn air lending him the luxury of walking, rather than portalling. 

The name had changed, but not much else had; and when Magnus walked in and caught sight of Alexander Lightwood-Bane in a heavy black leather jacket, a white tshirt, and royal-blue jeans, for a full moment, the only thing that kept Magnus from thinking he'd stepped back in time was the ring on his finger. 

The incarnation of Alexander that he had met here had been fourteen; had been angry and itching for some piece of rebellion, and had nearly gotten himself killed by going out demon-hunting without backup in chasing that rebellion. Magnus had dead-set himself against feeling anything more than protective friendship for the boy, and they had been downright viciously sarcastic towards each other, because Magnus was just another adult telling the boy what to do. 

Now, though, seeing his Alexander dressed like that boy as if he could possibly have _known_ , Magnus bit down on the echo of missing his friend, and tried very hard to force himself to appreciate Alexander in all his glory as a greaser. 

"You look delicious, darling." Magnus could only hope he got his voice to manage a purr, ducking in to kiss Alec's cheek before he removed his jacket to get ready to slide into the booth opposite. "Felt like having a milkshake? Isabelle said this place has good ones." 

Alec's eyes told Magnus stories of battles that he was preparing to walk into, and Magnus hesitated before sitting down, "They've never been in order, so I'm not precisely sure, but you and I met here in 1956, when I was fourteen, because you caught me hunting without backup, and saved my life." Magnus fell into the booth as if Alec had just swept his feet out from under him, the dull thought that it had been 1955, not 1956, a shock response that Magnus had not expected himself to ever be shocked enough to have. "That last part is the guess...I remember fighting with you, a couple years later--I assumed when you told me that I was too precious by half to act as recklessly as I always did, that that was what you were referring to." 

"You..." Magnus remembered that fight. Remembered nearly giving in to the look in that incarnation's eyes, because he'd loved Magnus, and Magnus had nearly broken himself to keep from loving him back. 

"Since I was six...well, maybe before that? I don't have the clearest memory before I was six, so I'm not entirely sure." 

The uncomfortable look on Alec's face was enough that had Magnus not been swamped with shock and horror, he may have been able to laugh. 

"I was in love with you before we even met. When the memory demon took a memory of Jace, I was just relieved it didn't touch the dreams I'd already had of you." Alec raised Magnus's knuckles to his lips, the kiss including the ring that Magnus had promised himself never to remove, not ever. "I...I assume that I've never remembered, before?" 

Magnus remembered the times that an incarnation had stumbled over the evidence of one of his past lives--remembered the echoes of fights that felt, when Magnus really thought about it, rather like the fight about moving in together had felt. But never had Magnus known any of the incarnations to have ever actually _remembered_. Magnus shook his head in the negative, focusing on the fact that Alec was still holding his hand, was still looking at him as if Alec would storm into any battle it took to make sure that he knew he was loved.

The corner of Alec's mouth twitched upwards, his thumb running gently back and forth over the hills of Magnus's knuckles, the touch a meditation Magnus had taken to encouraging when he knew Alec had the urge to hurt himself. Magnus knew now, though, that this was not Alec wanting to hurt himself; this was Alec trying to anchor Magnus, not the other way around. "I would tease you for having a type--and me being that type--but I'd rather hear what you're thinking right now." 

"You...Is one of your memories catching me looking at a photograph of an older you?" 

"No," Alec chuckled, and a little more of the spell of the memory is broken, because the incarnation that Alec was dressed like hadn't had much experience by way of smiles or laughter, "but I take it that I've caught on before, then?" 

Magnus nodded, and the words came out in a rush of the memories, "You...You hated it, when you did. Every time, it was--you're always so concerned about...about the pain you're going to cause me. And you--you keep dying, usually saving my life." 

"So you tried to hide it, this time." Alec surmised, then smiled with all the teasing that had come with them before this revelation, "You are really terrible at finding hiding places for your mementos of me, Magnus." 

Magnus flinched, and the admission of just why was past his lips before he could think better of it, "I...before we met, I used them as a reminder. Not to let myself get calcified and heartless, but also not to lose my heart completely." 

Alec hummed and flipped Magnus's hand so that laid palm-up for him to trace the lines of it. Their time together began to refocus itself, and Magnus almost laughed again at the realization that all this time he'd been a little confused about Alec's abandon in being with him was because Alec had known all this time what it would cost, and had deemed it worth it. 

"I can't believe...well, I suppose I can believe you knew all this time. It explains a lot, come to think of it." 

"I wasn't sure I wasn't crazy, at first." Alec allowed, "But it made things better, for me. You weren't my first relationship because we'd already had dozens of them." 

"And here I thought that you went into it with such abandon because you hadn't had any relationships hurt you in the past." Magnus tried to tease, but it fell flat even to his own ears. 

Alec licked his lips, sitting forward and keeping Magnus's gaze, "I keep dying to save you, you said. I remember those times. And, knowing all of those times? I still stand by the fact that you're worth it, Magnus." Magnus flinched again to hear it said out loud so plainly, and Alec trailed his fingers over the soft of his wrist as if feeling for the throb of his pulse, "But, this time around? I'd like to try to save you by making sure you don't have to go through that pain again." Alec reached towards a bag Magnus hadn't noticed laying on the booth beside him, and the file he brought out was thick and very clearly a collection of several iterations of notes. Alec set it on the table beside their still-joined hands, and wrinkled his nose sheepishly, "I thought you already knew...So when I went to Isabelle, to ask for her help looking--well, my sister knew about the past-life memories thing before you did, sorry." 

For Magnus, all he could read was the title of the file: **Desatando o tempo**. Untying time. 

"And when Catarina and Mom found out I was looking for this, they wanted to pitch in, too. And then all four of us were searching for things, and Underhill took one look at our attempts at correlating our research, and...I'm pretty sure that half the miraculously 'cancelled' meetings I've had over the last year and a half have been down to his interference to allow me to get home early to you, he's just that good at managing the chaos." 

Magnus huffed a wet laugh at that, still only able to half-register what it was Alec was telling him, because the implications were so vast and so terrifying that Magnus felt as if the world had opened up beneath him. 

"I told Isabelle that...I want your forever with you." Magnus could barely force himself to breathe in the wake of that soft admission, and then Alec kept going, "I'd like...to have the chance to raise a few warlock children with you. And I like this world we're making, Magnus. I want to be there to see it." Alec audibly swallowed, rubbing his thumb over Magnus's wedding ring over and over again. "So, I have to ask. Because I've convinced Isabelle, and Mom, and Catarina...I have to ask if you'd be willing to spend your forever with me?" 

"It's all I've ever wanted." Magnus's lips were numb as he mumbled the admission, and Alec's smile was soft as if he could tell that Magnus still wasn't quite back with him yet. "But what--what's the _cost_." 

"I've already paid it, Magnus." Alec murmured, and got up, sliding in so that he was sitting beside Magnus, pulling him into his arms tightly. "Erasing time...I remember the past lives, Catarina and I think, because I chose this life to erase time from." 

" _Fuck_ , do I hate time paradoxes." Magnus choked out, and Alec laughed into his hair, his large hand curved around the back of his neck. Magnus loved nothing so much as he did being held in Alec's arms. 

"So does Catarina. She told me to tell you that you owe her two cases of the red. She said you'd know which one." 

Magnus burst into tear-filled laughter, and Alec pressed kisses to his forehead and temple, holding him through the hysterics. "I love you, Alexander." 

"I love you, too, Magnus." 

~

Magnus sucked in a slow breath, hesitating at the end of their bed as he watched Alec twitch and pant, sparks of the magic sluicing off of him in unconsciousness. 

They had known that this would be less than pleasant, but it was all too close to seeing Alexander before Jace had pulled him out of being lost in his mind. 

"He's doing well, Magnus." Catarina reminded him softly. Behind her, Isabelle, Jace, and Maryse lurked in the hall; everyone just as anxious as he was to have Alexander awake once more. 

Maryse pushed her way into the room, folding Magnus into her arms tightly, and Magnus nearly cried for being held by a woman he would be willing to think of as a mother to him. 

"You know, when Alec first told me about the memories...I didn't know what to think. He'd always been in love with you, that much was easy to see." Isabelle told him, offering a smile when he looked at her over Maryse's shoulder. "He told me when he asked me to start looking for ways to do this. Told me that he didn't want to leave you behind anymore." 

"I nearly kissed him when he told me that." Catarina sighed, smirking when Maryse and Isabelle laughed. 

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that Alec had kept it a secret from all of us until he talked to Izzy," Maryse agreed, letting Magnus go only a little, and shifting to look at her son with an arm still firmly wrapped around Magnus's waist. "When he asked me to help Isabelle look, he was so ready for me to disappoint him. To reject him." Magnus tightened his arm around Maryse, and she offered the smallest of smiles, "He came prepared with all the reasons why he wanted to make sure he wouldn't leave you alone again. And told me that one of the biggest ones was that he wanted to give you the chance to be a father, and not to have to do it on your own."

"They _just_ got married, are you seriously fishing for grandkids already?" Isabelle laughed, and Maryse pulled a face at her daughter. 

"No. You two need to take your time. Because now you'll _have time_ , Magnus." Maryse gave him a squeeze, grinning. "But I think you should know what Alec was willing to go through." 

"He never had to tell me...I saw the portrait of one of his past-lives in your apothecary the night you healed Luke." Jace spoke up, arms crossed and head ducked in the doorway still. "When he ordered us out that night, I took it to mean that being alone with you was an indication that he...that he knew. It was more of a shock for me when he realized that you hadn't known he remembered all this time." 

Shaking his head at Jace's smirk, Magnus looked back to the bed. "I always wondered...why I've never heard of anyone else coming back--being reincarnated, like he has. How it is that no matter where I've run to, he managed to find me." 

Catarina scoffed at him, "Because he's the one that deserves you, Magnus. Half the lives he lived, he gave them up in order to protect you, and help you to protect others." 

"He's just stubborn enough to be the one to pull the reincarnation thing off, so he's there when you need him." Isabelle rolled her eyes, but she was smiling as she did. 

Maryse nodded, pulling away with a last soft squeeze, "You're the one that deserves him, too, Magnus." 

It was a matter of waiting for the magic to take hold in Alec and to settle. Magnus was thankful that their family was there with him for the start of it, but if he was honest, when Maryse kissed his cheek goodbye and Isabelle and Jace took turns giving him throttling hugs, he was ready to be left to sit vigil alone. 

Catarina drifted into the loft proper, knowing that though he wanted space, he needed her on-hand in case anything had gone wrong. And Magnus turned to the bed, his magic easing around Alec and clearing away the sheen of sweat on his skin, drying his clothes and the sheets around him. Alec had been oscillating between freezing and burning, restless as the magic had severed his connection to the natural cycle of age and death. 

They both knew that it didn't preclude Alec from losing his life in another way; but in the days following the revelation of Alec's plan, Magnus had been shameless in extracting promises he figured his husband probably wouldn't keep when it came to it, about not sacrificing himself for Magnus or anyone else. Magnus let out a slow sigh, and gave in to the impulse to lay beside his husband, taking Alec's hand as he did. 

The memories tended to match the age at which Alec really was, he'd told Magnus, and the earliest that Alec could recall was from when he'd been about six. Magnus had puzzled over when he would have met a six-year-old incarnation, and been puzzling over it any time he'd felt overwhelmed by the enormity of what Alec was doing for him. Piecing together the timeline of what Alec had remembered and what he hadn't had been a game between them when Alec could tell that Magnus needed not to think about what they had been preparing to do. 

He didn't think he'd ever seen Alexander so sure of a decision as he was in the choice to try to make himself immortal. Even setting aside the certainty he had that recovering the memories of his past lives, Alec had not faltered an inch from his decision, and would have made the choice to become immortal even if Magnus hadn't admitted that it was something he wanted. It was an act of faith so absolute that Magnus was in awe of it every time his mind strayed far enough to remember Alec finding him in Edom, promising him never to leave him again. 

Beside him, Alec shuddered, and went finally lax. Magnus let himself trace the lines of Alec's face with his gaze, let himself memorize the soft rush of breath between Alec's lips as he finally slept peacefully. 

He could feel the magic in Alec; his own power, wrapped around his husband to keep him from weathering time. If Magnus had had any idea that such a thing was even possible, he would not have put it past his magic to do it subconsciously. But Underhill had only seen mention of a theory, and no one else had been able to find any proof that that theory had been tested, let alone proven. 

"Magnus?" Alec mumbled, lashes still resting on his cheeks as he rolled towards Magnus. 

"I'm here, Alexander." Magnus murmured, moving one hand to cup his face. 

Alec gave him the sweetest smile, pulling himself in tighter. "Love you." 

"I love you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am aware that no one has asked for this nor likely wants it. Too bad. 
> 
> And Magnus does have a guide to which alcohol produces what reaction (provided to him largely by Catarina and Ragnor). He only actually believes it works...some of the time. Ish.


End file.
